So you think your girlfriend might be pregnant?
Here’s some quick advice for you:
- Talk about it. With each other and with others you can trust. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases your stress. The world says abortion is “a woman’s choice” but she rarely wants to make that choice alone. She’s looking to you for support because there aren’t many people she can confide in right now.
- Stay calm. She needs your support now more than ever. Regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
- Get all the facts. Do you really know what your options are in this situation? Get all the information so you can make a good decision. Ask questions. Make a confidential appointment with the Pregnancy Care Centre for you and your partner to get the facts and ask your questions.
- Be honest. Feeling angry, frustrated, or scared? That’s normal. Lots of couples experience a “surprise pregnancy” and immediately begin to worry. When women hear men say “It’s up to you,” they will often think he means she should have an abortion. Say what you mean.
- Don’t bail. Don’t just look for a quick fix. The more you run, the harder it is – both now and down the road.
- Don’t pressure her. You two will do best working together as a team.
- Don’t play the blame game. This isn’t the time to overreact or get mad about having sex together.
- Don’t rush. There is no rush to make this decision. You don’t want to have significant regrets in the future. Remember that abortion is not a “quick fix.”
- Don’t forget… You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to her. Ask her to listen to you.
Let’s Get Practical – How Can You Help Right Now?
- Confirm the pregnancy. The Pregnancy Care Centre offers free and confidential urine-based pregnancy tests. They are 99% accurate 7 days after fertilization, usually after she’s missed a period. This is often her first clue that she may be pregnant. Contact us now
- Help her look at the information available on all the options. The Pregnancy Care Centre can assist you in exploring your options. You can call or email us to book an appointment for you to come in together. Contact us now.
- Share the responsibility to choose. Your first instinct might be to say, “Whatever you choose, I’ll support you”. This sounds positive but she might think that means: “The decision is yours. I don’t want to take responsibility.” Not many women want to make this choice without the support of their partner.
- Ask her for some time to think, but reassure her that you aren’t going to abandon her. Even in the best of circumstances a pregnancy is scary.
- You don’t need to make a rushed decision. None of us make good decisions when we’re not thinking straight. Take some time to figure this out. Then make a joint decision you can all live with.
So the test turned out negative? You must feel relieved and want to forget this scare ever happened. But hold on. If you continue to have sex, there is always a chance that a pregnancy could occur, even when using a condom or birth control pills.
- Am I ready to be a parent?
- Do I want to have a child with this person?
- What would I do if a pregnancy occurs?
- Can I support a child with my time, energy, and money?
- Am I willing to give my child a two-parent home?
- Am I willing to make an adoption plan for my child?
- Am I prepared to live with the fact that my child was aborted?
- Will our relationship survive an abortion?